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Showing posts with label Advocacy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Advocacy. Show all posts

Saturday, August 10, 2013

A Lazy Saturday Morning...

I have a trisomy friend, Kara, whose T13 son's story has gone viral on YouTube and the Team Corbin facebook page has over 23k likes! He is in the hospital and had bowel surgery yesterday where a foot of dead intestines was removed. Before the surgery, they were given an opportunity to stop Corbin's journey. For children like Corbin, Rebekah, and others who are deemed chronically ill, incompatible with life, etc, there will always be a group of people who think we are going too far...torturing our kids as we push them through surgeries and medical procedures, and haul them from doctor appt to doctor appt. Kara posted a very heartfelt explanation:

"Many have asked, how far are we willing to go? The surgeon told me this morning, you do have the option to stop right here right now. My response was simple, "That's not an option." Many ask why? Some have opinions and wonder when enough is enough, well I'll tell you. Until you have a child that's sick, who fights every day to thrive, until you take every moment with grace, and I mean LITERALLY every moment. The second you get excited when your child sees the outside world. The second you are grateful to dress your child and the second you are grateful for every OUNCE your child gains; then you'd understand. Those kids, my kid, they fight for their life! They have no voice so we advocate. I advocate for my son what I think he can handle and my mommy instincts haven't failed me yet. I look into my sons eyes and I know. I know he isn't done. So that folks, is why we fight and why we aren't done yet.
I want Corbin to experience life! Life outside this hospital, life with no nurses poking him every day, no doctors waking him every morning. And I know with every chance we give him he's one step closer to THAT life."

Kara's words reminded me of the many times we've had some moments in Rebekah's life where we thought we might lose her, and the moments when we had to make decisions to give up or move ahead. And we would turn to Rebekah, and SHE would let us know it is not time to give up, and God's grace would get us through it. 

I can often see the look of incomprehension or disdain on people's faces when they see Rebekah's battle scars or even when they meet her for the first time and all they can see is a severely "mentally retarded" child who must be a burden to her family.  But if you took a moment to step outside of your world and into our world, you would see that this journey makes us stronger, it brings us closer to God... There is something defining about the grace and strength you can receive even when feeling deflated and broken. There is always a sense of God's presence watching over us - holding us in our darkest moment and rejoicing in the bright moments. 

I almost feel as if I am asleep as of late because life is a little surreal and somewhat normal. But Kara's post about Corbin woke me up. This picture below, this seemingly normal scene of 5 kids lazily watching TV from their family room couch, is much more than just a photo of kids watching TV. It is a picture of why we do what we do!! This is one of the dreams that all parents of children with life threatening disorders have - that their child will get to experience and participate in life right along with the rest of us, even something as simple as sitting around on a lazy Saturday morning. And if you pause for just a second and think about where we came from and where we are today, you might begin to understand what drives us to not give up on these kids!



 
 

Friday, March 22, 2013

Isochromosomes, Inversions, and a little T21 on top

We're almost to the end of Trisomy Awareness Month and I want to continue sharing the Hope for Trisomy daily tidbits put together by my friend Alisha.

Day 20: Isochromosomes

On our 20th day of MARCHING into TRISOMY AWARENESS MONTH, we are going to share about a rare structural abnormality, known as ISOCHROMOSOME. The chromosomes produced by this abnormal division are one chromosome having the two long arms of the original chromosome, but no short arms, and the other chromosome consisting of the two short arms and no long arms. This constitutes a simultaneous duplication and deletion. Isochromosomes are often found in females with Turner syndrome and can be found in tumors. Share because you Care. ♥


Day 21: Down Syndrome Awareness

On our 21st day of MARCHING into TRISOMY AWARENESS MONTH, we are going to share about the MOST COMMON TRISOMY. Trisomy 21 (Down syndrome) is when there are 3 copies of the chromosome 21, instead of the normal 2. The conditions associated with Down syndrome vary from person to person and can range from mild to severe. However, children with Down syndrome have a widely recognized appearance. Their head may be abnormally shaped and smaller, and the inner corner of the eyes rounded instead of pointed. All Down syndrome individuals experience cognitive delays, but the intellectual disability is usually mild to moderate. This chromosome abnormality occurs in about 1 in 700 newborns. The mother's age is the only factor that has been shown to increase the risk, especially after the mother is 35 years of age. However, since younger women are more likely to have children, the percentage is higher in women younger than 35 years of age. It is important to remember that ALL individuals diagnosed with Down syndrome live happy, productive lives well into adulthood. Share because you Care. ♥


Day 22: Paracentric and Pericentric Inversions

On our 22nd day of MARCHING into TRISOMY AWARENESS MONTH, we are going to share a little more about the STRUCTURAL ABNORMALITY called an INVERSION. An inversion occurs when a chromosome breaks in two places. Then the resulting piece of DNA is reversed and re-inserted into the chromosome. There are 2 types of inversions which are called pericentric and paracentric. The inversion that involves the centromere is called pericentric, and paracentric is when the centromere is not involved. The most common inversion seen in humans in on chromosome 9. This inversion is usually considered harmless, but there are suspicions that it could lead to an increased risk for miscarriage or infertility. An inversion does not mean there is a loss of genetic information, it just simply rearranges it. Share because you Care. ♥


Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Trisomy Tea - Raising Awareness One Cup at a Time

Trisomy Tea

A very special friend, Cindy Chamberlin, is running a very simple fundraiser that I would encourage everyone to consider joining, and it will only cost you $5!  Here is her message:
Well I can’t WAIT any more! March is Trisomy Awareness Month. In honor of our daughter, Jordan Elizabeth Chamberlin, I will be having a fund raiser to support Hope for Trisomy, Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, and our local families that have experienced a loss by selling “Tea Cups”.
Each Tea Cup is $5.00 (see picture below) and includes a special bag of tea. They can be mailed within the US for an additional 46 cents (and of course can be picked up/dropped off locally). Message me if you live out of the US and we can work something out!!!!
Because Jordan had Trisomy 18; $3.18 of each cup sold will go to Hope for Trisomy, $1.00 to NILMDTS, and the rest to stay locally in the hopes of having a larger ceremony on October 15 (National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Day). I can accept cash, check, and paypal. Let me know if you have any questions. My goal is to sell at least 200! I’m so excited to raise awareness and continue to celebrate what Jordan means to us!!! Thank you for your help and support!
Each Tea Cup is $5.00 (see picture below) and includes a special bag of tea. They can be mailed within the US for an additional 46 cents (and of course can be picked up/dropped off locally). Message me if you live out of the US and we can work something out!!!!Because Jordan had Trisomy 18; $3.18 of each cup sold will go to Hope for Trisomy, $1.00 to NILMDTS, and the rest to stay locally in the hopes of having a larger ceremony on October 15 (National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Day). I can accept cash, check, and paypal. Let me know if you have any questions. My goal is to sell at least 200! I’m so excited to raise awareness and continue to celebrate what Jordan means to us!!! Thank you for your help and support!
This is what the Trisomy Tea awareness "tea cup" looks like. To order a tea cup, please send a donation (or order request to receive a pre-order invoice) of $5.46 for each cup to the following paypal account: cynster@suddenlink.net. Provide your total tea cup order and your mailing address. $3.18 goes to Hope for Trisomy, $1 to NILMDTS, $.82 to a local WV effort for National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Day on 10/15, and $.46 for shipping costs.  Thank you for your support! 
This is Jordan's Gemma's Bear from Hope for Trisomy. Your donation to Trisomy Tea helps us fund Hope for Trisomy's Gemma and Payton bear gifts to families facing a trisomy diagnosis or a milestone birthday. We receive heart-warming comments from families that receive our bears. For more information about the bear programs, please see hopefortrisomy.org.
Cindy and her beautiful Jordan.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

PEAP - Physician Education Awareness Program

Our state has an organization whose mission is to support families with children with special care needs. It is called Family Connections of SC.  While they have many programs, one that I particularly like is their Medical Education Programs:  Medical students and pediatric and family practice residents engage with families in home visits and connections outside the role of physician/patient to better understand family-centered care and the medical home.

Our local upstate chapter of Family Connections works with parents and 3rd year USC med students doing their residencies at Greenville Hospital System to provide PEAP - Physician Education Awareness Program.  I have hosted this twice at my house, and hope to do it many more times in the future! It's a wonderful opportunity to get young doctors in the homes of our "incompatible" children, and show them what they are REALLY like. I also get to explain how seeing a child in the hospital, or even for an office visit, does not give any medical professional an accurate picture of who the child really is and what they can accomplish.
This is from the Jan 2013 PEAP session. These 3 doctors hopefully have a more positive view of trisomy 18 in their careers.
This is Maddie, she as a 2q microdeletion and tag-teamed a PEAP session at my house in March 2012.
Our March 2012 session had a total of 6 med students. Here are four of them.
Here are the other two med students with Rebekah, my son - Jeremiah, and Family Connections' Michelle Johnson who coordinates this program in our area.

I polled my special needs families and trisomy families for input on what they would want to tell doctors and medical professionals about our children. This is what we came up with...

PEAP – Physicians Education Awareness Program
What Do You Do When You Have A Pediatric Patient With Multiple or Life-Threatening Disabilities?

1.  This is a child first and foremost 
  • Use People-First Language (I included some PFL handouts which was already part of what Family Connections gave the Med Students.)
    • People First Language (PFL) represents more respectful, accurate ways of communicating. People with disabilities are not their diagnoses or disabilities; they are people, first. PFL is not about "political correctness," it's about good manners and "the golden rule." 
    • http://www.disabilityisnatural.com/
  • Use the child’s name.
  • Speak of an unborn child as a person, not a thing.
  • Do not make assumptions about the capabilities of a child that you have only spent 5 minutes or less with. Ask to see pictures of the child in his/her home environment. Ask what milestones the child has reached. Ask how the child communicates. Children may be “nonverbal”, but still communicate effectively!
  • Even if managing care for a child that has 10% chance to survive, that child still DOES have a chance. They are not “incompatible”, care is not “futile”.
2.  Be Open To Interventions And Care Options
  • Parents (and doctors) can be realistic AND hopeful at the same time. Being realistic would include surgery recovery times, more aggressive and proactive care, etc.
  • Parents want choices – do not force or assume palliative care or hospice is always in order for a specific child.
  • Tell the WHOLE truth – not just the medical books truth. Give options and realistic expectations. If you don’t know what those are, don’t make assumptions. Be honest about it, or seek out documentation to support your views.
  • Intervention is not always wanted to prolong life. Sometimes intervention is necessary to improve the quality of life a child has – regardless of how long they will be here.
  • Give parents the information they need to make informed decisions. Don’t assert your personal opinion into the mix.
  • SUPPORT A PARENT’S DECISION, whether you agree with it or not. Don’t question why a child is full code.
3.  Each Situation Is Unique
  • Treat the child, not the syndrome. Each child is unique. Two children with the same syndrome will not have the same outcomes and issues. Don’t treat them with cookie-cutter care.
  • Treat the family, not the medical issue. Each family is unique. The care path that one family takes will not be the same as another family facing a similar situation. Adjust your care to the needs of each family and child.
  • Do not speak down to the parents, or treat them like they are idiots. For parents with an unborn child or infant, be compassionate. For parents with older children, they are probably far more aware of their child’s condition than you are.
4. Educate Yourself - Be Willing To Learn
  • What you learned in school does not necessarily reflect “reality”.
  • Listen to the parents – they will no doubt have insight into their child and maybe even the condition if it is something you have not had extensive experience with.
  • Network with families so you can grow beyond book and clinical knowledge to understand how families manage caring for a child with disabilities.
5. Be Compassionate
  • While you may see a child with a hopeless future, the parents see a child they love and cherish – no matter what. Don’t discount that love. A child cannot be replaced (“you can always have another baby”). One child is not more “valuable” than another (“save your time/effort/money for your other children…”).
6. Be Willing To Share
  • Families of children with disabilities need long term care and access to resources. Familiarize yourself with programs and support systems so you can pass that on.
  • Be willing to search and provide medical journal articles and supportive research papers that will help the family cope with their child’s specific issues.
  • Help connect families with similar disorders – peer support is critical!
7. Always Remember That You Are Not Seeing A Child At Their “Best”
  • There is a huge difference between seeing a child critically ill in the hospital, or sick in the doctor’s office, and seeing that same child in their home environment surrounded by comfort, familiarity, and love.
  • There are many children who react differently around “strangers” than they do at home.
8. What Parents Want You To Know
  • I love my child with fill-in-the-blank as much as I love my “normal” children.
  • My child loves me back.
  • My child communicates.
  • My child experiences joy, love, happiness.
  • My child with disabilities is special in many ways. They all have different needs.
  • Ask yourself, “What would I do if (insert name) were MY child?”

Sunday, April 29, 2012

TAG-Teaming the SOFT Stroll for Hope

SOFT (Support Organization For Trisomy 18, 13, and Related Disorders) is a volunteer organization that offers support for parents who have had or are expecting a child with a chromosome disorder (especially Trisomy 18 and Trisomy 13), and education to families and professionals interested in the care of these children.  Every year they hold an annual SOFT Conference which provides an opportunity for grieving families to celebrate the lives of their children and learn skills to help them in their grief. It also offers an opportunity for families of living children to come together and spend time with families who understand their daily struggles, medical concerns and stresses, and the joys found in having a trisomy child. Most importantly, it offers opportunities for doctors to get hands-on experience with trisomy children through a medical clinic offered to all trisomy attendees, and provides important up-to-date education opportunities to families and medical professionals alike.

I am excited and honored because I will be representing the Trisomy Advocacy Group (TAG) at a conference session, along with several other TAG Board members. Our session is entitled "How to Advocate for your Trisomy Child".



All of the TAG Board Members attending the SOFT Conference will also be involved in a conference Stroll for Hope event that is designed to raise funds for SOFT. Some of the money goes to future conference costs, and some of the money goes to SOFT's general funds for operating costs.  I fully support SOFT and can attest to the positive impact it can have on families no matter where they are in this journey. Please consider supporting TAG's efforts to help SOFT by donating towards our TAG Team's SOFT Stroll for Hope fundraising efforts!


Here are some photos from the SOFT Stroll for Hope event in Chicago, IL in 2011. This is our Budd Zoo Team! But this year, we will have a TAG Team instead!
The Budd Zoo Team posing in our 2011 Stroll for Hope position.
Here is the back of our team Budd Zoo t-shirts. The design was created by our son, Elijah. We then used  ink jet t-shirt transfers to put them on matching t-shirts.
Go Team Budd Zoo! Notice how Elijah is holding Rebekah's hand. :-)


PLEASE DONATE to our TAG Team SOFT Stroll for Hope here: https://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/TrisomyAdvocacyGroup/StLouis1

Find out more about SOFT's Annual Conference, to be held in July at St. Louis, MS this year:

To learn more about SOFT, please visit -
facebook support group page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TrisomySOFT/

To learn more about Trisomy Advocacy Group (TAG), please visit - 
facebook organization page: https://www.facebook.com/TrisomyAdvocacyGroup
facebook support group page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/T18Mommies/

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Bella Santorum's Impact on the Trisomy 18 Community

I was quoted in an article on Politico on 4/14/12!   Juana Summers (the reporter) did an awesome job of posting a NON-POLITICAL piece by interviewing several different people and perspectives and showing how Rick Santorum's daughter, Bella Santorum, has helped make Trisomy 18 a more widely-known disorder.  Of course, Santorum-haters used the article to attack him, Bella, and trisomy parents, like myself.

Bella Santorum's Fight - By Juana Summers on Politico
Here's my part in the article:
“A couple years ago, nobody knew what trisomy 18 was,” Susan Budd, the mother of a 2-year-old who has the chromosomal abnormality, told POLITICO. “Now, when I’m out and about and when somebody will ask me about my daughter, they’ll see trisomy 18 and they’ll say, ‘Oh, isn’t that what Rick Santorum’s daughter has?’ So Bella Santorum has done a lot for trisomy awareness in a very positive way because I think that more and more people are seeing that children are living with it.”
Budd – a mother of five including 2-year old Rebekah, who also has the disorder – said during her pregnancy several years ago, “if you typed trisomy 18 into Google, everything that you’d pick up would be negative,” but that now – partially thanks to the Santorum family – there’s a greater awareness and more resources for families like hers, impacted by the rare condition.
Without resources to turn to, she started a Facebook group that now boasts nearly 1,000 members and also keeps a blog about her daughter’s life.
“During the pregnancy and early on, my local contacts and my online community - that got me through things,” Budd said. “Now, I’m at the point where Rebekah is fairly healthy and stable, and so I spend a lot of time helping other families that are just beginning this journey, or who have never known that there is a big community to help them.”
Budd’s problem is less common now, after Santorum’s decision to step off the campaign trail – twice – to be with his ailing daughter made national headlines.
Read more: http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0412/75120.html#ixzz1tOfQlv5n 


The article made it to another blog where I was re-quoted!
How Bella Santorum Had a Positive Impact on Families With Sick Children by Laura Donovan

I wish I could get our story out there even more and help share HOPE for trisomy kids!

Friday, April 13, 2012

Medical Futility Policies

Thankfully, most people do not ever have to deal with Medical Futility policies. Unfortunately, parents of Trisomy children need to educate themselves about it.


The Free Dictionary defines it as:
medical futility,
1 a judgment that further medical treatment of a patient would have no useful result.
2 a medical treatment whose success is possible although reasoning and experience suggest that it is highly improbable.
Mosby's Medical Dictionary, 8th edition. © 2009, Elsevier.

futility [fu-til´Ä­-te]
the quality of not leading to a desired result.
medical futility the judged futility of medical care, used as a reason to limit care. Two reasons for making this judgment are (1) to conserve resources and (2) to protect clinician integrity. The types are physiologic futility and normative futility.
normative futility a judgment of medical futility made for a treatment that is seen to have a physiologic effect but is believed to have no benefit.
physiologic futility a judgment of medical futility based on the observation of no physiologic effect of the treatment.
Miller-Keane Encyclopedia and Dictionary of Medicine, Nursing, and Allied Health, Seventh Edition. © 2003 by Saunders, an imprint of Elsevier, Inc. All rights reserved.

medical futility
Futile resuscitation, futility Biomedical ethics A subjective term that encompasses a range of probabilities that a Pt will benefit from efforts designed to improve his life and survive to discharge from a health care facility Medtalk The lack of efficacy of a particular maneuver in ↓ M&M. See Advance directive,DNR, Futility. See DNR orders. Cf Euthanasia.
McGraw-Hill Concise Dictionary of Modern Medicine. © 2002 by The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc.



Yes, MANY hospitals have policies regarding medical futility! These covert policies guide withholding treatment to infants (and adults) in certain circumstances, DESPITE PARENTS' DESIRES. It includes things such as a physician-written DNR that trumps the parents' choices, to covert injections of medications in doses high enough to cause death, to withholding of nutrition and fluids, to mysterious deaths for no apparent reason.

If you don't believe this happens, there are many stories of trisomy children mysteriously dying after routine procedures or surgeries where the prognosis was good. Mary Kellett, from Prenatal Partners for Life, unfortunately has first hand experience of medical futility policies. Mary's son, Peter, passed away in 2011, and the hospital led them to think he died of a infection. They were encouraged by the funeral home to have an autopsy, it confirmed that the hospital was responsible for his death and they knew what they were doing. They allowed sweet Peter to fill and drown in his own blood while pumping him with fluids, all while lying to the mother who kept asking them if he was internally bleeding. This is the worst nightmare of any parent whose child is in the hospital... that the doctors and hospital you entrust your child to allow things like this to deliberately happen.

Do you know about the Medical Futility Bill? Until this is federally mandated, we (the disability community) should fight for this at our state's level. It requires hospitals to disclose their medical futility policies to parents of minor children and to the Department of Health. It is currently being lobbied at the federal level by Michele Bachmann. Idaho has recently signed into law the Medical Consent and Natural Death Act. It is being discussed in MN. The amendment was adopted, but must now go to conference since it was not in the original house bill that is has been added to. It was recently debated in a MN House informational hearing. Here is the audio of the brave testimonies of several families. The first person to testify is Mary Kellett.

Here is a good resource to follow what is going on across the country with respect to medical futility issues.
Sweet Peter Kellett, trisomy 18, victim of a medical futility policy.

Testimony in Support of SF2238 - by Mary Kellett

Thank you, Mr. Chair for the opportunity to speak before the committee. My name is Mary Kellett and I am a resident of Maple Grove.
I am a mother of 11 children the youngest of which, Peter, had a condition known as Trisomy 18. I want to speak in support of Senate file 2238 and tell you my story because I believe it is important for you to know as you consider the need for this legislation.

Peter’s story- when I was 19 weeks pregnant, an ultrasound revealed markers for a condition called trisomy 18. We were offered an amnio, which we refused because we didn’t want to risk hurting our baby. We were told we would have more choices if we knew for sure. We said we would never abort our baby, but would love him no matter what he had.  We named him Peter. We were told there were no survivors beyond 2 weeks with trisomy 18 and that most people aborted babies like this. At 33 weeks I had an emergency c-section. Peter weighed 3lbs and 2oz. Peter was given excellent care until day 2 of his life when a fish test revealed he did have trisomy 18. At that time it was recommended to us that we stop all treatment, wrap him up in a blanket and let him die. We were told he would lead a life of terrible pain and suffering and would never know us or respond to us. My daughter went on the Internet and found many children living with this, some in their twenties and thirties. When I asked the doctor why he had lied to me, he said, “ Well how these children do largely depends on the choices their parents make for them.” I responded,” How can parents make decisions when they don’t receive accurate information.” He then said, “Well, we have to think about resources and you know Peter will never be able to contribute to society and will be a horribly burden to your family.” I started to cry, because I knew resources meant money and it hurt so badly to have a doctor tell me my son wasn’t worthy of the needed treatment to help him live.
Another woman doctor who I had never met until after Peter was born came into my hospital room and said she wanted to talk to me as a mother, not as a doctor. She said that if I wanted to be a good mother to my other children, I had to let Peter go, because he would be a burden to our whole family and it would not be fair to them. I could do nothing but cry. We were told our son’s heart defect was fatal. Something told me the doctor was not telling the truth, so we made our own appointment with a pediatric cardiologist who shook his head and said Peter’s heart was stable and functional, but he did need a minor surgery called a PDA ligation. The doctor at the hospital told us that Peter was not a candidate for this surgery that was described to us as open-heart surgery. We were asked why we would want to put our son through that. It was not open heart surgery but a minor procedure to close a blood vessel. This is just a small example of the incomplete, inaccurate information and out right lies we received. We were pressured over and over to sign a DNR. We were even told we could not receive home care visits from a nurse unless we signed a DNR. I called the director of the home care-nursing program and asked her if this was true. She was flabbergasted and told us this was not their policy, nor had it ever been their policy. When I confronted the doctor about that she said, “Well they must have changed their policy, to which I responded no, it has never been their policy. We were very concerned about our son’s welfare. It was very hard leaving him at the hospital, knowing they felt as they did. We called the head doctor of the NICU at the U of M for a second opinion and shared our concerns. When the doctor at the hospital Peter was staying at found out, she was very angry. The next day she said we had 2 choices, we could take Peter home or we could transfer him to Childrens, she already called and they had a bed ready for him. She said we had to leave HER hospital.

We decided to take Peter home. He only weighed 3lbs 11oz. He thrived on all the love and attention and grew and did many things we were told he would never do, like drink from a bottle and eat by mouth. He knew us and loved us, and we loved him. He was the happiest, sweetest little boy, who was everyone’s favorite. He was never, every a burden, only a joy and a blessing. He made us all better and taught us so much about love and compassion for others. He was the best of us. Peter died at Children’s hospital in Mpls at the age of 6 1/2 after having his appendix removed. I have to wonder if he was a victim of their hospital’s futility of care policy. I have talked to many other families who also have children with disabilities that have similar concerns and stories to share. By having this policy, doctors and hospitals are making a value judgment about children that only parents have the right to make.

In conclusion, I want to say that this bill simply gives parents the right to know if a hospital has a futility policy and what it is.  It provides a level of consumer protection in health care choice. Parents shouldn’t carry the burden of fear and stress over the policies of the hospital, especially during a medical crisis. They have a right to know before they bring their child, disabled or not, to that hospital. And they have a right both legally and naturally, to be the decision makers of their child’s health care. Please pass this bill. Thank you.

“There is a place in the world for children with special needs. We all are ‘differently-abled,’ with flaws and gifts. These children are teachers of our souls, and society desperately needs the lessons and blessings they bring.” ~Mary Kellett

Monday, February 13, 2012

Trisomy 18 Children (and Parents) Can Experience Joy

The following opinion editorial was written by Michael Budd (father to Rebekah) and run in the Greenville News on 2/13/12.



Rick Santorum’s run for the Republican presidential nomination has brought to light a topic that is near and dear to me and my family. Like Sen. Santorum, my daughter has the genetic condition of Trisomy 18, or Edward’s Syndrome.
This condition was prenatally diagnosed, but my wife and I chose to continue the pregnancy despite the gloomy prognosis. Ninety percent of Trisomy 18 children die at or before their birth, and of those that survive, 90 percent die in their first year of life. We chose to cherish whatever life God gave to us.
I recognize that many don’t understand this decision and that there are many misconceptions about these precious children.
Much has been written recently about Trisomy 18, but the most profound statement in an online ABC News article said that survival “depends on the severity of symptoms and the quality of care.” The first part, “severity of symptoms,” is a wide range and something that cannot be changed.
Most of these children are lost despite the hopes and prayers of their parents. However, the “quality of care” is our choice. If the child survives their birth, we have to choose the amount of medical intervention we will afford this medically fragile child.
I have heard it said that Rick Santorum’s daughter, Bella, has received care because he is wealthy and privileged. This is not my experience. My family is middle class, we have private insurance through my employer, and my daughter, Rebekah, has received similar care that Bella has received. Additionally, in South Carolina, Rebekah is eligible for a type of Medicaid called TEFRA, which covers more services than our private insurance.
The truth of the matter is that Bella receives services because Rick and Karen Santorum are willing to fight for them. I did say fight. You see, Trisomy 18 children are categorized as “incompatible with life” or “a lethal diagnosis,” which many doctors and hospitals take as a license to deny care. This story is played out everyday across the United States and the world.
Like the Santorums, we are blessed to live in a community that has hospital systems and many doctors that have helped us address Rebekah’s medical concerns. Their care and interventions have enabled us to enjoy over two- and half-years of joyful life so far.
It is true that a child with Trisomy 18 faces difficult times and their family has to make hard choices about their care, but aren’t all of our lives difficult at times? Many people have told me how Rebekah’s demeanor and activities change when she hears my voice coming into the room. Not only does she recognize me, she is excited to know I am coming to see her!
If you could see Rebekah and Bella (and the numerous other Trisomy children across this country) at home with their siblings, friends (yes, friends) and favorite toys, you would see the true essence of happiness and peace. The joy Rebekah takes from life encourages us about the decisions we have made on her behalf.
My heart breaks every time I hear about a child diagnosed with Trisomy 18, because I know parents will have to make difficult choices in what are often hostile environments. Unless you have faced these choices, you have no idea what they feel like.
At these moments, it doesn’t matter what you believe morally, ethically, politically, philosophically or theologically. You must make a life or death decision. In a few hours, days, or weeks, you will have to make it again. Ultimately, you have to live with whatever choices you made.
For my wife and me, our first choice was to “cherish every kick and every moment” we had with our daughter. Almost three years later I thank God every day for how he has blessed us.
Michael Budd lives in Simpsonville with his wife,
Susan, and their five children.
For more information about Rebekah go to
http://buddzoo.blogspot.com.
Help is available at www.trisomyhelp.org.