My mother-in-law, Mary, (who is in her 80's) tells me about her friends and a cousin that have experienced a miscarriage or still birth. When we were pregnant with Rebekah, she was very concerned for us because she didn't want us to have the same experience. You see, back then it was extremely common to whisk the baby away before the mother could even lay eyes on the baby. Several of her friends has wishfully stated things like "If only I had gotten to hold my baby.", "If only I at least had a picture." Her cousin, over 50 years ago, had such an experience and, to this day, still cries when she thinks of her baby! She still says, "I never even got to hold him."
Yesterday, another beautiful t-18 angel left this earth. Hope was her name, and she was loved by many. There is a part to Hope's tale that makes me very, very angry. The hospital did not allow her parents to take pictures of her after her birth! Is that not insane? Now, I realize that I am in the USA and Hope was born in South Africa, but the psychology of grievance does not change no matter what country we are in, what socio-economic class we may belong to, what age we are, what race we are... And in order to mentally process 'death', we need closure. Sure, Florisha (the mom) got to see her and hold her, but to not be able to have any keepsakes to take is just plain WRONG! So this left me with a very bitter taste in my mouth going to bed last night.
I did find out today that they are going to let her see and take pictures of Hope tomorrow. But it is still insane that this was not the case yesterday.
It's little things like this that make me really worry about the human race. Are we so far gone, so cold-hearted, that we cannot recognize the beauty and wonder in each of God's creations? We are all fearfully and wonderfully made - whether 'perfect' or 'imperfect', and each has a place and purpose on this earth. No MAN should make a determination of the value of any given life. It is not our place to do this.
Loving Life With Full Trisomy 18 - Edwards Syndrome - Helping Families with Prenatal and Postnatal Diagnosis of Trisomy 18, 13, and Related Chromosome Disorders - Dealing with Ethics, Genetics, and Related Medical and Health Issues
So true! My mom experienced the same thing with her stillborn baby. She never got to see her or hold her. This is one reason that I make it a point to offer my services to anyone in the situation that is going to loose a loved one.
ReplyDeleteI'm so grateful that we had a wonderful experience delivering our baby, still born, the nurses were amazing and so tender and caring and helped us take pictures. We were in shock so without them I don't think we would have been able to take pictures.
ReplyDeleteI saw a program on Oprah a while ago about a woman, I believe from one of the African countries, she was pregnant and her baby had died and she was getting an infection wasn't able to go into labor without the help of a doctor but no one in her village was willing to drive her 50 miles to the closest doctor, she would have died if the camera crew and the journalist that was interviewing her hadn't paid for her to get the help she needed. I'm so grateful that I live where I live. A very large percentage of woman in 3rd world countries die if they have a still born baby. Whenever I think I would like to have this or that, I try to remember this woman and how rich I am.