Tribute to Caleb (3/20/09 - 8/29/11)

As little as 2-3 years ago, there were very few resources online to help families faced with the diagnosis of trisomy 18/13. There were even fewer active resources that helped CONNECT families of  LIVING children. While I was pregnant with a prenatal diagnosis of trisomy 18, I needed that hope and I needed to talk to 'experienced' trisomy families so I could educate and prepare myself.  It was so hard to find living kids. So I started a group called Trisomy 18 Mommies* on facebook to connect all of us, no matter where we were in the trisomy journey, and suddenly I started finding trisomy families, many with living kids that provided me with so much hope! Online, the trisomy families share fears, milestones, illnesses, frustrations, tears, joys, friendship, knowledge, and grief. We share things our friends and families just don't understand, because they are not on the same Journey.

I have a very special bond with one family in particular - the Adamyks. Jeannette and I found each other on facebook as we were both beginning this trisomy journey. Jeannette and I quickly started sharing more than just the trisomy journey, we started sharing life together.  The Adamyk's son, Caleb, was born a month before Rebekah and also with full trisomy 18. Jeannette and I may have developed a strong bond, but I always felt like Rebekah and Caleb were kindred spirits too. Caleb is the 'groom' in Rebekah's 'wedding' pictures, and they look a lot alike and share many mannerisms.  

Caleb went to be with Jesus on 8/29/11.  I have to be honest, I have had a very rough time this past month.  I haven't been interested in my normal activities, it is a struggle to get through the days, and I have been having bad dreams and anxiety.  I have wanted so much to blog about Caleb's funeral and my feelings through this grieving process, yet I still cannot put it into comprensible words.   I know my pain isn't anywhere near that of Jeannette and her family.  Yet my pain is enough that it has been debilitating.  Oh how I hate that one of my best friends has to go through this part of the 'journey'... and I hate that any of us have to even think about facing it one day.  But through our friendship, and by sharing this journey with Jeannette, I have seen the depth of her love, the depth of her commitment, the extent to which she would go to help her son, and how to gracefully and lovingly one can face the worse nightmare of any mother - the death of your child.  The pain and suffering doesn't negate the joy and blessing of having a miracle child that defies the odds.  It doesn't make us regret choosing life.

Caleb's legacy and what he means to the trisomy community:

• Caleb had the most beautiful smile that melts everyone's heart. He showed that having a special child could be full of happy moments.
• He gave us hope to not give up on our children, but to fight for them.
• Caleb became an encouragement to other families faced with the same diagnosis, and the Adamyks showed us how to be advocates for our children.
• Caleb proved that life is more than what you accomplish by worldly standards. Trisomy 18 children are worth fighting for. Life isn't about striving for perfection or success, but about loving and living, and enjoying each day.
• Caleb helped bring people closer to God and gave us a glimpse of what unconditional love means - suffering without complaint while loving those around us, just as Jesus did.

Before Caleb went to the hospital in what would be his last days, Steven Adamyk twirled him around outside in the rain, just enjoying a special moment with his special son. This beautiful moment reminds us that "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about dancing in the rain."

Jer 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Although it is hard for me to see and accept this now, I know in my heart its true and I am praying daily for the Adamyks and for all my trisomy friends that have lost their child.

Caleb lived in Ocala, FL. Ocala Star Banner has been following Caleb's story since birth. Here are the links to some of the beautiful pieces done on him:

• 3/19/11: Caleb turning 2 amid support for Edwards syndrome kids
• 8/30/11: After celebrating his 29th month of life, Caleb dies at area hospital
• 9/7/11: Boy's spirit, love honored during celebration of life
• 10/3/11: Caleb Adamyk's Story
• Ocala.com photo gallery from all of Caleb's articles
• A complete list of his articles can be found here

Michael Robinson (a family friend of the Adamyk's) made this video: Celebrate Everything - A Tribute to Caleb.

Caleb's Celebration of Life Service:



Caleb Adamyk's Story:

Come To Jesus by Chris Rice

Weak and wounded sinner
Lost and left to die
O, raise your head, for love is passing by
Come to Jesus
Come to Jesus
Come to Jesus and live!

Now your burden's lifted
And carried far away
And precious blood has washed away the stain, so
Sing to Jesus
Sing to Jesus
Sing to Jesus and live!

And like a newborn baby
Don't be afraid to crawl
And remember when you walk
Sometimes we fall...so
Fall on Jesus
Fall on Jesus
Fall on Jesus and live!

Sometimes the way is lonely
And steep and filled with pain
So if your sky is dark and pours the rain, then
Cry to Jesus
Cry to Jesus
Cry to Jesus and live!

O, and when the love spills over
And music fills the night
And when you can't contain your joy inside, then
Dance for Jesus
Dance for Jesus
Dance for Jesus and live!

And with your final heartbeat
Kiss the world goodbye
Then go in peace, and laugh on Glory's side, and
Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus and live!

Rest in Peace, Sweet Caleb. We love and miss you so much!!

*Trisomy 18 Mommies is one of many online resources available to families wherever they are in the trisomy journey. We currently have about 540 members at all different points in 'the journey'. Contrary to the name, the group is also for dads, family members, etc and encompasses families facing trisomy 18, 13 or any similar genetic disorder considered 'incompatible with life'. However, Facebook will not let us change the group name to better reflect the composition of the group. :-)  If you are facing a diagnosis of trisomy, already have a trisomy child, or have lost a trisomy child, we offer a community of compassionate members that 'get it'. Feel free to join us.

A Nineteen Month Reprieve Ends... (PART I)

After going an amazing 19 months without a hospitalization, we finally broke our medical reprieve.  On May 30th, Rebekah started vomiting and was switched to Pedialyte to give her stomach a rest. On Memorial Day, she spent the day either sleeping or vomiting. She always tolerates pedialyte, so this was a different experience. I figured she had a virus. But after over 8 hours with no wet diapers, I called the pediatrician and they told us to head to the ER for IV fluids.

We spent 8 hours in the ER until they decided to admit Rebekah to the Peds Floor at Greenville Memorial Children's Hospital.  They started Zofran to stop her vomiting in the hopes we calm her stomach enough to restart at least Pedialyte. But after running standard blood and urine cultures, it was determined that Rebekah had a pretty significant UTI. We still didn't know the strain, so they put her on IV Rocephin, and we figured in a day or two she would be back to normal.  But it didn't go that way...

Because of the concern of the UTI extending to her kidneys, we did an abdominal ultrasound on 5/31.  It showed no major issues of Rebekah's kidneys or liver. By Wed morning, Rebekah's tummy was becoming visibly distended.  Rebekah continued vomiting despite the zofran, and was starting to vomit some bile here and there. All of this was a mystery since her blood work did not show anything significant (outside the UTI), and her white blood count numbers were actually going down. 



Michael kissing Rebekah during the Upper GI Study



An abdominal x-ray was ordered which showed a blockage in the smaller intestine. Because the doctors weren't sure if it was a complete blockage, they ordered an Upper GI Study to look at how things were digesting. To complicate matters, Rebekah had been on IV fluids since Monday evening, on IV Zofran for vomiting, and continued to vomit at least once every 3-4 hours. Her stomach was becoming more and more distended and the amount of bile backing up into the stomach was becoming significant.

Rebekah's distended tummy on Wed 6/1

For a period of about 12 hours, we attempted to administer multiple doses of barium to Rebekah for the upper GI x-ray series showing the progression of the barium through her tract. She kept vomiting the barium along with larger and larger amounts of bile. What little passed beyond the stomach was going no where. She was becoming more agitated and unconsolable. She absolutely did not want to be touched.

Rebekah's tummy on 6/2. The g-tube button was being pushed by so
much pressure that it was sticking out was past the stomach.

After the last xray at 7am Thu morning (6/2), her stomach was so bloated it was hard and her g-tube button was actually pushed up out of her skin. The pediatric surgeons decided that we were getting to a critical point and could not waste time trying different tests. We signed the paperwork, then I brought up a very sensitive issue with the surgeon.
I said, "I am sure you don't need to be told this, but if Rebekah codes during surgery, or there are any major issues, you are to do every thing the can for her."
Well, his response pleasantly surprised me. "When we cross the door into the OR, we do absolutley everything we can for our patient. Even if they had a DNR, it would stop at the door and be ignored."
(Rebekah does NOT have a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate order), but his point was in the event of an emergency, they treat everyone equally. How refreshing!.

Dropping Rebekah off at the OR.
Michael had to be at home for Isaiah's Kindergarten graduation.
It's tough having to 'choose' between your children. :-(

So Rebekah was taken to 'emergency' surgery Thu morning around 9:30 am. We met with the surgeon around 12:30p for a post op consultation before seeing Rebekah. She did great during surgery and they found and fixed the problem!

Rebekah's tummy when we picked her up post-op. Looks so much better!
It will continue to shrink as she recovers from major abdominal surgery.

Rebekah once again becomes a medical anomaly and defies statistics by having a Meckel Diverticulum present in only 2% of the population.  This extra section and about 3 inches of surrounding intestine were removed along with several adhesions. They threw in an appendix removal for free! LOL.  And to make things even more interesting, her Meckel Diverticulum didn't act 'normally' by bleeding, but inflamed the intestines enough to wrap around it causing a major obstruction. We had MAYBE another day before this would most likely have turned into periotinitis and/or necrotized (dead) intestine and become a major life threatening problem.

Sweet Rebekah looking much better after surgery.
Her face is relaxed and her lips actually have color.

Her GI doctor can't wait to see if this totally changes her digestive system issues! This may have been the culprit behind a lot of her early digestive system problems.

I want to end Part I of this story by sharing the story of Rebekah and her brother, Elijah.  Rebekah has been miserable for this past week. She hasn't smiled at Mommy, Daddy, or even her Nurse Becky. She has been very grumpy for the nurses. But when her big brother showed up Wed night, she cracked a grin, touched his face, and even held his hand. 

While that is a 'nice' story, I am telling it because there is a false assumption that trisomy kids are vegetables that are a burden to take care of and who will never know you. This is so far from the truth! Every trisomy 13 & 18 child I've met has a happy demeanor, a loving soul, and most definitely a recognition of their family. They are a special blessing, and sent to teach us about courage, hope, and unconditional love. I thank God so much for entrusting Rebekah to our family. It is where she belongs...

First Birthday Celebration Invitation

On April 17th, we will be throwing a party at our church for Rebekah's first birthday (which is actually 4/21). Because I am budget-conscious and, well, a really bad procrastinator and lazy when it comes to mailing things, I created Rebekah's birthday invitation on facebook about a month ago and never sent the details to any of our dear friends not on facebook! (I do have to admit that I created and sent a picture card invitation to all of her medical community contacts, but that is because I REALLY want them to come and see that our daughter is REBEKAH and not just a TRISOMY 18 statistical number).

But life happens... Rebekah had RSV, then crazy school schedules for the kids, traveling, an ER trip... So I have spent the last 2 hours trying to create a late evite invitation for her party, only to be stumped with limited text description and picture size! UGH!! I am posting the complete invitation here to the blog so I can link to it from the evite. If you see it here, and not in facebook or an evite email, please make sure you go to the evite to RSVP so I have an accurate headcount. And for my family and friends receiving this late - well, that's just me, what can I say! We know you've heard that this event is coming. I love you all and hope you can join us for this celebration, so don't get hung up on a late electronic invitation!

EVITE LINK TO RSVP (but please read all the details below because it doesn't fit on the evite!)

YOU ARE INVITED TO THE BIGGEST BIRTHDAY PARTY OF THE YEAR!
(Well, at least in Simpsonville, SC!)

Rebekah Faith Budd,
born with full Trisomy 18 on 4/21/2009,
is redefining "Incompatible With Life"!

Date:	Saturday, April 17, 2010
Time:	1:45pm - 4:30pm
Location:	MPAC Building @ First Baptist Church Simpsonville
Street:	East Curtis St & College St
City/Town:	Simpsonville, SC

SUMMARY:
Rebekah Faith Budd was diagnosed prenatally with trisomy 18 and never expected to live. (See bottom of this post for more info on trisomy 18). We prayed, with many others, that our little girl would defy the odds and would thrive, but more importantly, that her life would have a greater purpose!

She has now made it to a tremendous milestone - her FIRST BIRTHDAY! This is a day too many families of trisomy 18 kids never get to celebrate. So we want to celebrate BIG and celebrate in honor of all the T-18 kids out there. And we want to hear all of the ways Rebekah has blessed the lives of those around us. So you are invited to celebrate with us, and help us document why these children should be given a chance!

And if you have not met this little bundle of joy yet, you will not want to miss this opportunity to see her and several of her special T-18 friends who will be celebrating with us!

PARTY DETAILS:
Sign In - Please try to arrive between 1:40-2:00 to 'sign-in' for the party! We want to make sure we have an accurate account of who attended!

PROGRAM -
- On-Going Slideshow of Rebekah's 1st year.
- Welcome and opening words
- Rebekah's Story / Testimony
- Update on the World of Trisomy 18
- Introduction of Guests of Honor - several T-18 friends and those from the medical community involved in Rebekah's care who are attending
- A slide show tribute to our T-18 "angel" friends
- A few words from Pastor Randy
- Blessing for Rebekah and her T-18 friends
- Cake and light refreshments served
- Open Mic - an opportunity for anyone to share a few words about how Rebekah's journey has impacted your life. Share a favorite verse, quote or poem relevant to this occassion! For those that cannot attend, we will read off words of encouragement that we have received. This will be taped so that we can show others that these children are worth saving!
- Closing remarks and thank you's
- Balloon Release by all guests attending

GIFTS - YOU'RE PRESENCE IS OUR PRESENT!
Because of Rebekah's trach, g-tube and physical/developmental uniqueness, we will have a Wishing Well in lieu of gifts. This will help us to purchase items specific to her needs, including specialized and therapeutic equipment not covered by insurance. We also want to create information packets for the local medical community to educate them on the current world of trisomy 18.
But please know, your presence is our present! We expect no other gifts. Please just come and celebrate this amazing little girl with us!

RSVP
Please RSVP by April 10th and comment on total guests attending so we can order enough cake!
If you cannot attend and would like to send a birthday card, please send those to:
Rebekah Faith Budd
128 Horsepen Way
Simpsonville, SC 29681

THANK YOU TO EVERYONE FOR SHARING IN THIS VERY SPECIAL EVENT WITH US! WE THANK YOU ALSO FOR YOUR CONTINUED PRAYERS AND SUPPORT!

LOVE,
THE BUDDS
Susan, Michael, Elijah, Jeremiah, Isaiah, Josiah & Rebekah

WEBSITE LINKS:

• FACEBOOK FAN PAGE - I just created a Fan Page for Rebekah. Please become her fan!
• FACEBOOK EVENT PAGE - http://www.facebook.com/#!/event.php?eid=327118879639
• BLOG WEBSITE - http://www.buddzoo.com/
• TRISOMY 18 FOUNDATION - http://www.trisomy18.org
• SOFT (Support Organization for Trisomy 18, 13 and Related Disorders) - http://trisomy.org/

TRISOMY 18 BACKGROUND
Trisomy 18, Edward's Syndrome, is a chromosomal defect in which there is an extra 18th chromosome in every cell of the body. The effects of an extra 18th chromosome are usually a lot more life-threatening with more critical birth defects than that of the more known Trisomy 21 (Down's Syndrome). Because of the prognosis, it is deemed "incompatible with life' and many medical professionals encourage women to terminate their pregnancies early or deny/fail to provide aggressive medical treatments.

Many different statistics are posted regarding life expectancy, but the fact is that most babies die before they are born (statistics say anywhere between 50-90%) and most of those born alive die by 2 weeks old (up to another 50%). Few make it to the milestone of their first birthday, and of those that make it that far, life expectancy remains unknown due to their medically fragile nature.